Somewhere

It starts off with love
the kind
 that a turtle's shell is made of
and then we come to a fork
you take this one
and I take that
but between your road and mine
our arms stretch
just to be sure the other's fine

it ends with you leaving
for the sky?
 the clouds?
 heaven?
For something new.
And me staying,
Standing frozen
on a summer sidewalk
wondering:

Why?
How?
Is this real?

Dishonesty
Denial
they leap
a short distance between my lips and ears

No.
No.
No!
It never happened.

But the story in the middle
is the one that fills the pie

fighting, yelling
all with love behind it
crazy love
never losing love
we'd slip it into our back pockets
to free our spirit's hands
 for a fiery battle
of the hearts
and then we'd put it
right back where it belonged
right back where it always was
and always will be

All those times I spoke of
things being unfair
Stupid me.
I never knew what that meant
until the moment you were no longer here.
In nearly three months
it will be a year,

365 miles of unfair.

I miss you.
I miss you being you.
I miss your weekend call
to ask me if I'm coming over.
I miss you cooking dinner a little earlier
so I could have some before I leave.
I miss the compassion in your eyes.
I miss the things we didn't have in common
and how sometimes they'd make my temper fly.

I miss it all
So much.

I'd settle for a minute back
and I think of how many words
I could fit into that minute...
How many jokes to hear you laugh?
Should I take some time to prepare?

Where do I send that request?
To the sky?
to the clouds?
to heaven?

Where do I focus my sight
so you could see
the calling in my eyes?
so I could find
the reply in yours?
Where?

You aren't here
but I know you're somewhere